


drink twice for good measure

by catladyjaebum



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, Drunk Sex, I need help, M/M, Oh My God, Recreational Drug Use, add this to the list of aus absolutely NO ONE asked for, chanbaek endgame btw, drunk consensual sex, ending fanwars one threesome at a time, i'm a mess, in this household we dont judge we only accept, just in case, listen idk how this happened, shameful jerk offs, they drink a LOT if the title wasnt clue enough, they get high and they get drunk, this is funny trust me, welcome to the one and only baekyeolv tag on this site, why is that not a tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-10-26 08:49:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17742788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catladyjaebum/pseuds/catladyjaebum
Summary: The one where Chanyeol finds out Baekhyun’s boyfriend looks exactly like Baekhyun and he’s having mixed feelings about it.





	1. PLAN A - CONFESS LOVE

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fuckboibam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckboibam/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,,,,,listen i have 0 excuses and 0 regrets
> 
> BEFORE U ASK NO, this is not a love triangle. love triangles are for Straights, we solve our issues with 3somes like men,,,,
> 
>  
> 
> @s this was supposed to be done by your bday but that didn't happen so take it as a valentines present instead <3<3 i love you and dont forget you asked for this sjkdhskajd
> 
> pls dont judge me

+

If you ask Chanyeol when exactly his crush on Byun Baekhyun started flourishing, he'd say it was the same day he walked in on him eating out his girlfriend.

Don't get him wrong, the eating out part left him scarred for life -- thank you very much. He was only looking for the hairdryer when he aimlessly walked into Baekhyun’s room and got his innocent eyes burned ( _ their _ room, technically. The apartment they shared with Jongin and Jongdae only had two bedrooms, which they had since “legally” divided in half to get some privacy and save money. The walls were pretty thin). He stuttered a lame excuse, shut the door and marched right out the apartment, straight to Sehun's place across the hall.

He didn't knock (since he knew no one ever locked the doors around here) and barged inside, slamming the door shut and resting his back safely against it. Sehun was on the couch with Jongdae, both playing a racing game on Chanyeol's PS4 that they totally took without his permission.

“Dude, you okay?” Jongdae asked, sparing him quick glances between the TV. “You look like you saw a ghost, or something.”

He was most definitely, certainly not okay. “Uh, yeah," he breathed out, rubbing his eyes. “Baek’s with Taeyeon again.”

Both of them nodded in acknowledgment, not needing further explanation. Everyone knew how thin those fucking walls were.

Chanyeol took a deep breath and joined them in the living room, sitting on the floor beside his friend’s legs. Their round was about to end, and Sehun was completely owning Jongdae’s ass, and the blond was starting to get vocal about it. He was yelling profanities at Sehun mercilessly, cursing him and his family, but the other barely batted an eyelid. He may be the youngest in their friend group, but he's tall and kind of bulky and can totally kick their asses if he chose to. Not Chanyeol's, maybe not Minseok's, -- possibly not even Baekhyun's because Chanyeol has seen the boy fight and he fights nasty --, but definitely Jongdae's.

Sehun wasn't bothered, though. He was focused, not even their friend's wailing could get him off the zone. They were doing a pretty good job getting Chanyeol's mind off of whatever was going on back across the hall.

It’s not like he wasn't aware that Baekhyun and his girlfriend had sex. He knew, hell,  _ everyone _ knew. They had all got noise cancelling headphones because of the couple and they'd always greet Taeyeon in the mornings when she walked out of his room for breakfast wearing a loose shirt and not much else, Baekhyun trailing giggly behind her. They ignored the noises the same way Baekhyun would politely ignore their hookups. It’s part of their Roommate Agreement.

The noise of Jongdae throwing his shoe across the room to emphasize his sore loser antics startled Chanyeol. Maybe they weren’t distracting him from Baekhyun, after all.

Jongdae was demanding a rematch with a red flushed face and the wide eyes of a lunatic. Sehun decided he was hungry and the game could wait until Jongdae made him a sandwich -- loser's punishment. The blond got up fuming, not daring to cross the Game Agreement, but vowed to spit on said sandwich nonetheless. Sehun said it would only add an extra spice. 

There was a lot to focus on there, but Chanyeol mind just kept wandering back to what he had experienced, and how it made him feel funny.

The thing is, Chanyeol wasn't blind. He knew Baekhyun was hot. He had thought that to himself the first time they met back two years ago. But then, it was more of a  _ this-dude-is-hot-or-whatever _ than a  _ this-dude-is-hot-I-hope-he-lets-me-suck-his-dick _ kind of way. At the time he didn't even know Baekhyun was into men, given he was dating some girl. 

He found out otherwise a couple of weeks later, when instead of a random chick a random guy followed Baekhyun out of the bathroom, towels wrapped around their waist. Honestly, Chanyeol couldn't say he was surprised. It was 2017, no one was straight anymore.

All in all, it wasn't what he saw inside of his roommate's bedroom earlier that day that first put him into this mess. It was what happened after.

It was a couple of hours later when Baekhyun texted the group chat letting them know his girlfriend had left for the night. He and Jongdae said goodbye to Sehun and went back across the hall to their own apartment. Chanyeol had 8 a.m. the next day, all he wanted was to shower and sleep and not having to talk to Baekhyun at all. He was sure they could both be civil and pretend it never happened.

That was only wishful thinking, of course, because the soft knock on his door just as he was about to climb under the blankets sounded very much like Baekhyun's.

He poked his silver-blond-haired head through the small opening of the door. “Hey,” he said in a small voice. “Mind if I join you?”

Instead of replying, Chanyeol lifted the blanket as an invitation and Baekhyun didn't need more than that to make himself comfortable next to him. It was something they did. They were always piling over each other, sleeping on the same bed when it was cold and cuddling with Jongin on the couch that was definitely not big enough for the three of them. The heating on their apartment sucked, it was a matter of survival.

Baekhyun nuzzled his head on the crook of his shoulder and the cold tip of his nose gave him tickles. He had both his arms wrapped around Chanyeol's middle and one leg draped over his thigh.

“Sorry about earlier,” he mumbled against his shoulder. “I didn't know you were home.”

“It happens, don't worry about it.”

Baekhyun hummed contently before sliding his hand under Chanyeol's shirt and running his cold fingertips up and down his torso. “You're the best, Yeolie.”

And that was it.

Chanyeol barely slept that night, the image of those same fingers reaching slightly down and wrapping around his dick, pulling his hair and digging his arms and back as he pressed Baekhyun against any surface. He was immobile until morning, too scared to move and somehow wake the blond up and risk Baekhyun finding out that he wasn't as soft as he was supposed to be. The sudden attraction to his roommate hit him like a football to the nose. That night he knew. He was doomed.

And he couldn't even do anything about it because Baekhyun was still in a happy committed relationship. With a girl.

After that day the grave Chanyeol had opened for himself only got deeper. It wasn't just the need to get to his knees and suck the soul out of his roommate through his dick, he had contracted  _ feelings _ . He would hug Baekhyun just a little tighter and for a little longer, he'd stay up to help him with homework and even cook for him. Baekhyun had him wrapped around his finger and he didn't even know.

This dragged on for five months. Five long months of Chanyeol doing his best to hide his ginormous crush and getting made fun of by the rest of their friends, staring daggers at Taeyeon when she wasn't looking. Needless to say, it wasn't a fun time.

But that’s in the past now. Lonely nights with his headphones turned to the highest volume not to hear the couple next to him, his pathetic excuse of dates, the longing looks he gave Baekhyun's ass when he walked away? Done, extinguished. The luck of Park Chanyeol is finally about to change.

Today is the mark of a full week since Baekhyun and Taeyeon ended their relationship.

Once Baekhyun laid the news to his roommates, Chanyeol had to pinch his own thigh not to jump in excitement with his fist in the air. Jongdae gave him a pointed look over Baekhyun’s shoulder, but all any of them said was “ _ Ohh, that's a shame, you’ll be okay _ ”. Baekhyun didn't look necessarily heartbroken, but you never know. Chanyeol decided to be a gentleman and give Baekhyun some time before asking him out. Originally, he was going to wait a month, but after a week he was done waiting. Seven days is long enough. He's ready.

They're all at a party and planning on getting very drunk (Sehun's idea) and it's finally Chanyeol’s golden chance.

All he needs to do now is find Baekhyun.

True, they did all arrive together, and  _ true _ , they have only been here for about three minutes but somehow Baekhyun, the slippery snake, had already managed to ditch them. He's not too worried though, because he's tall and Baekhyun likes to take advantage of his shield of a body to get to the bar -- his words, not Chanyeol's. Baekhyun will be back in half an hour, all he needs to do is hang out. It's not like he's a hard person to spot, anyway.

Chanyeol gets drinks with Jongdae, then he gets drinks with Jongin, then he is forced to buy drinks for Sehun (fucking brat), and then things start to get a little blurry.

At some point someone gives him sunglasses, and those are now resting at the opening of his button-up that is definitely more unbuttoned now than it was when he first arrived. He's not sure how long has passed but he remembers completely losing sight of all of his friends and doing acid-green shots with some frat bros he found on his way to the bathroom. He also took selfies with a couple of friendly girls on the dance floor after holding up the hair of one of them while she puked. He's not sure which one he helped, but they both called him cute and hugged him goodbye. Overall, it's a great night.

The final step is to locate Baekhyun, proclaim his undying love, make out with him and live happily ever after. And maybe lie down for an hour or two because the room just won't stop spinning and he's sticky all over and he doesn't know why. Other than that, it’s the perfect plan.

Okay, maybe he shouldn't be doing this right now. Baekhyun is probably as shitfaced as he is, and he doesn't want Jongdae to tell the story of how their first kiss happened exactly five minutes before Baekhyun puked all over his shoes when he inevitably does his best man speech at their wedding.

He can totally do a sober love confession. It's for the best.

He should just look for Jongdae and go home.

Genius Plan for Saturday Night is now officially postponed to Sunday Afternoon .

  
  


+

  
  


When he opens his eyes the next morning, Chanyeol isn't quite sure how he got there in the first place.

He has very little memories of the end of the night, the very last thing he remembers being spotting Jongdae making out with a girl in the corner and poking him until he stopped. He also remembers Jongdae getting really mad about it. After that it's all blank.

He taps around his bed for his phone and tries to will his head to stop pounding. His mouth is dry, he needs to pee and his eyes are sensitive and he's feeling a weird itch on his side he absolutely doesn't want to know how he got. It's a little past noon and it's Sunday and even though he feels like shit, he's glad he didn't sleep through the day. He sets his phone to the lowest brightness and checks his Stories feed to puzzle pieces of last night together. 

There's a couple of drunk selfies from Sehun and some videos Jongin took of the dancefloor that Chanyeol can only assume were meant to be selfies but he forgot to switch the camera side. His own posts are all over the place and Jongdae’s are no help. There's nothing from Baekhyun, which is weird, because Baekhyun IG lives everything.

Oh shit, Baekhyun. Single Baekhyun. Available Baekhyun. Genius Plan.

He stands up a little too fast and needs a couple of seconds to let his orthostatic hypotension wear off (yeah, that’s what it’s called). First things first, he’s hungry, he’s sticky and his breath smells like dead fish. He plugs his phone on the charger and grabs some clothes from the floor before dragging himself towards the shower, stumbling around with his eyes half-closed.

After leaving the bathroom, Chanyeol is greeted with an empty living room and it makes him frown. He knows for a fact that Jongdae is awake because he opened the snapchat Chanyeol sent him twenty minutes ago, and hungover Jongdae is hungry Jongdae, so if he’s awake then he should be eating. He stops by the door to his room to make sure, but it’s empty. So is Jongin’s. So is Baekhyun’s.

Huh.

Chanyeol texts the group chat a bunch of interrogation marks and half-heartedly dries his hair with a towel while he waits. He gets a reply a few minutes later in the for of selfie from Sehun doing a peace sign with Jongdae in front of what it looks like Kyungsoo making scrambled eggs. His stomach growls at the thought, and that’s enough incentive for him to make his way across the hall.

The only person who bothers to say good morning when Chanyeol walks in is Kyungsoo. He's no longer by the stove, but sitting at the dining table between his roommates, Sehun and Minseok. Chanyeol ignores Jongdae to sit next to Jongin and looks around. Then looks around again.

“Where's Baekhyun?” He asks, just as Jongin hands him a mug of fresh coffee. Minseok makes the best hangover coffees, but he's not in the mood for it.

There's a collective round of shrugs and  _ ‘I don't knows’ _ so Chanyeol settles on texting his friend/future boyfriend before diving into the food. He chews on his cereal while half heartedly listening to Jongdae recall his doings of the night before, joining forces with Sehun to poke fun at him every now and then. He also tries not to stare at his phone too much, but he's not too optimistic about that one. Kyungsoo doesn't seem like he cares at all and Minseok just hums along to prove he's listening. When asked about it, Sehun mumbles a couple of whatevers while still typing restlessly on his phone. 

He really wonders sometimes how someone like Sehun ended up sharing an apartment with Minseok and Kyungsoo. He wouldn't bet on shared interests.

“So, tell me,” Minseok says after yet another Jongdae ramble, holding his mug with both hands and bringing it close to his face. “How did your love confession turn out last night?”

Chanyeol frowns. “It didn’t. Barely even talked to Baekhyun.” He looks around the rest of the table. “Do any of you know what happened to him, anyway?”

Jongdae shakes his head, so he turns to Sehun. “Last I saw him we were flirting with the bartender for an extra shot," he says without looking up from his screen. “Then we ran into some guys he was kind of friends with.”

He waits for Sehun to keep going, but he doesn’t. “And? Is that it?”

Sehun shrugs. “I got both shots, so I left.”

_ How helpful _ . “Jongin?”

“I hung out with him and his friends for a while,” Jongin says after taking a bite of his toast. “We were out in the dancefloor, but that’s it. Didn’t see him leave."

Kyungsoo turns a page from his book. “Did you text him? He’s probably still sleeping.”

“Yeah, but he hasn’t even seen it yet.” Chanyeol pouts at his coffee, still untouched.

“Don't worry, bro,” Jongdae pats his back. “He'll be home soon.”

Chanyeol pouts even harder, but doesn't whine any more because he knows his friend has a point. He needs to trust his gut, trust his plan. It's foolproof.

They finish breakfast and Kyungsoo declares that he did the cooking, so he will under no circumstances do the cleaning. The literature major disappears to his room and Minseok has to restrain Sehun to stop him from doing the same. Chanyeol exchanges a look with Jongin and they both head towards the sink to get started on the dishes, Jongin washing and him drying. They learned long ago that while they made an absolute danger zone out of their own apartment, Kyungsoo and Minseok's place must be kept immaculate at all times. Minseok had the nice apartment with three bedrooms and two working toilets (perks of being the landlady's nephew) and he wouldn't hesitate to slap a bitch if said bitch left a mess on his counter, and Kyungsoo liked his place clean. As for Sehun, he just kind of lived there.

It isn't until about an hour later, the five of them lounging in the living room to some sitcom reruns, that Chanyeol's phone beeps.

“Oh, it’s Baekhyun!” He exclaims, unlocking the screen with the biggest smile on his face. He pretends not to see the dramatic eye roll Minseok throws his way.

 

**sent at 12:14 pm**

_ u ok? _

_ where u at???? _

 

**♡ baek ♡ sent at 2:23 pm**

_ I am WONDERFUL _

_ I had a sleepover ;)))) _

 

**sent at 2:24 pm**

_ oh??? _

_ what type of sleepover? _

 

**♡ baek ♡ sent at 2:26 pm**

_ the sexy kind ;)))))))))) _

  
  


Chanyeol almost drops his phone.

No way. That can’t be happening. Jongdae raises his eyebrows at him but he ignores it in favor of typing faster.

  
  


**sent at 2:27 pm**

_ LOL _

_ with who? _

_ do i know them?? _

  
  


He really hopes Baekhyun can’t tell how desperate he is. His fingers are shaking so much he has to re-type four times.

  
  


**♡ baek ♡ sent at 2:30 pm**

_ lmao nooo _

_ his name is taehyung _

_ he’s really cute, he's making me breakfast rn!! totally a keeper _

_ oh he’s back _

_ ttyl yeolie _

_ love you <33 _

  
  


Baekhyun attaches a selfie of him still in bed, holding up a finger heart. His hair is a mess, he’s not wearing a shirt, he has a lazy smile on his lips and he looks even better than usual.

The  _ I love you too _ is burning at the tips of Chanyeol’s fingers but he doesn’t type it. He calmly places his phone on the coffee table with the screen facing down and sits over his hands to restrain them.

What. The. Fuck.

“Is everything okay?” Jongin looks from him to the phone. “What did he say?”

“He's fine.” Chanyeol huffs. Everything is not okay. “Was one of those friends a guy named Taehyung?”

Jongin blinks. “Yeah, why?”

Chanyeol slams both hands on the table, startling the others. He can feel an actual ache of betrayal. “Jongin, how could you!”

“What?!”

“Baekhyun went home with him!” He this close to pulling the hairs out of his head. “He went home with some dude! They totally had sex!”

Minseok gives him a pitying look. “You can't know that for sure.”

Chanyeol shows him the selfie. Minseok winces and retreats.

Chanyeol's life sucks ass.

He bites on his lower lip to stop himself from screaming. This has to be a prank, there's just no way. Someone must have spilled his plan to Baekhyun and plotted to mess with him, that's the only sensible and explanation. There's no way Baekhyun really found a replacement for his girlfriend in the night Chanyeol had been planning to confess his feelings. It's… Too cruel.

His friends are all watching him with various levels of concern, ranging from Sehun who doesn't seem to be affected at all and Jongin, bless his soul, who has an empathetic look on his eyes.

“What do I do now?” Chanyeol mumbles, letting himself slide down the cushions.

“I guess that's just it, man,” Sehun shrugs. “You missed your window.”

“What window?!” He scoffs, arms dangling around to emphasize his indignation. “There was no window! He was single for less than a week!”

“Dude, this is Baekhyun we're talking about,” Jongdae points a chip at him from the counter. “You should have asked him out the second Taeyeon dumped his ass.”

“I thought their break up was a mutual agreement.” Minseok comments, not really paying attention.

“Specifics.”

“It's not fair!” Chanyeol whines. “Is this what I get for being a nice guy? For giving him space?!”

Sehun looks up from his phone, eyebrow raised. “Chanyeol, you are not nice. I'm nice. You're just dumb.”

He frowns. “You're not nice.”

“Ok, I'm not.” The redhead rolls his eyes. “Jongin is nice, but even he got laid last night.”

“Seriously?” He asks, making Jongin blush. “Who?”

“Err,” Jongin swallows, rubbing his arms and avoiding eye contact. “Taehyung’s friend?”

Chanyeol blinks. “Are you fucking shitting my balls?”

Jongdae laughs out loud and Jongin tries to make himself smaller. He looks sheepish. “No?”

“Can the people in this house stop frolicking with the enemy!” He exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger at Jongin. “You're supposed to be on my side!”

“I'm sorry! I had no idea he was going home with the guy!”

“Besides, he was totally busy getting laid,” Sehun adds. “Did you bring him over?”

Jongdae gasps. “Is he still here?!”

“What? No,” Jongin shrugs lightly. “We went to his place.”

“Really?” Chanyeol raises an eyebrow. “Did you walk-of-shame here?”

“No? He had to work early, so we left together.”

The focus of conversation shifts from his non-existing and pathetic love life to Jongin's wild sexual endeavors. Chanyeol sinks even further into the couch and sulks like there's no tomorrow. Eventually they get kicked out back to their own apartment by Kyungsoo, so he can upgrade from pouting on his own armchair instead. Jongin keeps him company, asking for inputs every now and then on the essay he's writing and Jongdae takes a nap.

When Baekhyun finally decides to grace them with his presence is already night and they were in the middle of a very important discussion to decide on pizza flavors. He looks like he's the happiest man on the planet and he's wearing clothes that are definitely not his and at least two sizes too big. His neck is covered in hickeys and his bottom lip is slightly swollen.

Jongdae catcall whistles and all Baekhyun does is take a bow before retreating to his bedroom, saying he ate with "Taetae". Once the door closes Jongin sends him an apologetic look and mouths a " _ sorry, man _ ". Chanyeol feels his left eye pulsating.

Seriously. Fuck his life.

 

+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp...... there's that i guess
> 
> i'll see you in hell lads 
> 
>  
> 
> ps. you can totally follow me on [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/ohimemomo) and we can be friends ♡


	2. PLAN B - SPLIT THEM UP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i still have no excuses.  
> BUT its still the funniest thing to write ever.

 

+

  
  


Here's the list of things Chanyeol knows about Kim Taehyung:

 

  1. He's a sophomore student;
  2. He's dating Baekhyun;
  3. Apparently, he's a good kisser;
  4. His name is Kim Taehyung;
  5. That's it.



 

Not much, but enough to hate his guts.

It's not like he's not trying, _ trust him _ . It's just that Baekhyun is acting uncharacteristically private about this relationship. If one can even call it a relationship since according to the blond they're “just hooking up, don't be a virgin Yeol”, so he's not too sure where they're standing. He has notifications on for Baekhyun’s stories and posts on Instagram just in case, but still no sign of the usurper.

(There's also the small fact that Chanyeol needs to refrain himself from prying too much so he won't make Baekhyun suspicious).   

His friends end up being just as useless, Jongin being incapable of actually remembering what this guy looked like and Sehun refusing to get involved whatsoever. Jongdae wasn’t even there. He thinks he can find this Taehyung person if he digs deep enough but he's not that desperate. Yet. He swears.

What hurts the most is that Baekhyun looks happy whenever he comes back from his dates and he's all giggles when they talk on the phone and Chanyeol ends up having a front roll seat to his own heartbreak. Sometimes he has to run to the bathroom or hide in his room before he starts crying or something worse. Jongdae gives him pity looks whenever it happens.

He's trying not to think too much about it. It's a work in progress.

That's the only reason he agrees to join Sehun to this frat party from another university on the other side of town. He is promised an open bar to help him drown his sorrows so Chanyeol is game, even if he’s 94% sure the only reason Sehun invites him is to have someone to split the Uber drive home. Baekhyun is going out with his boytoy again tonight so that’s another contributing factor. Maybe Chanyeol is going out too much.

Some guy named Minho greets them at the door and hands each a suspiciously neon blue drink and claims they have to down it before he can let them in. They both shrug and do it one go.

It burns all the way down his throat but it’s a good burn. Chanyeol feels his entire face scrunch up as he clicks the weird aftertaste and what's-his-face wraps the two of them in a bro hug. They get pushed inside and are instructed to make themselves at home. He feels better already.

It's your classic frat house party, the floor is sticky, there's a smoke machine in the corner and some flashing lights effects you used to see at your cousin's party when you were thirteen. The entire place stinks of weed and Chanyeol must have missed a memo because everyone seems to be wearing fancy outfits while he just looks like a struggling college student wearing his only pair of good jeans.

He makes a point of not losing sight of Sehun since Sehun is his ride home. They go around the house to get familiar, see if they can find anyone they know. There’s a makeshift bar in the kitchen and an entire barrel of that same blue liquid at the entrance and a lot of people around it waiting for their refill. Chanyeol recognizes some guys from his econ class but he pretends not to. He doesn’t want to talk to anybody before he’s had at least five drinks and embarrassed himself on the dancefloor. Whatever happens next, happens.

There’s very little furniture in the living room, mostly couches and chairs pushed to the corners and a table in the middle where some dudes are playing beer pong. He and Sehun sign up for a round and Sehun absolutely fucking sucks, so they lose and get really drunk really fast.

They dance for a while then drink some more and then dance again and then leave to look for some food. He loses Sehun and ends up hanging out with some basketball players and hopes for the best. He has no idea how much time he spends with them but when he finally finds the redhead again he's stargazing in the backyard.  

Sehun says he wants to kiss someone so they go inside to do just that. Everyone is friendly and slightly tipsy so it’s not so hard. Sehun finds a pretty blond girl he starts to chat up and Chanyeol makes out with a short guy with a nice ass for a while. 

He doesn't let it get past the friendly crotch grinding against the wall in the hallway, and that’s for two reasons. First, he’s not at all sober as he stumbles his way back towards Sehun and the girl (who are still going at it, by the way. He politely waits on the side) so maybe he shouldn’t be picking up strange boys. Second, he can’t stop thinking about Baekhyun. As he was kissing the guy all he could think about was how Baekhyun’s lips would feel, and how their bodies would fit together and his taste and his scent and it was too much. It’s a whole situation. It's gotten to the point he’s seeing Baekhyun when he isn’t there. He's seeing Baekhyun when he isn't there twice.

That can’t be right. Chanyeol blinks, looks at his cup then looks at the couch again. It's definitely Baekhyun sitting over there, Chanyeol would recognize that face with his eyes closed. But there's more than one of him and that can’t be right.

“Dude. Dude,” he slaps Sehun's arm to get his attention. “We should go home. I think I'm drunker than I thought.”

Sehun turns away from the girl to give him a confused look. “What?”

“I'm seeing two Baekhyuns.” 

Chanyeol doesn't take his eyes from them. Him?  _ Hims? _ Blond Baekhyun has his hand on brunet Baekhyun’s thigh. The younger follows his line of sight and frowns when he sees the couch.

“Nah man,” he says. “That's just Taehyung.”

What.  _ What _ .

WHAT.

“What?!” He exclaims. Out loud this time, since people turn to stare.

“Tae-hyung!” Sehun says again, as if he thinks Chanyeol is stupid. He probably does. “You know? Baek’s boyfriend?”

It’s like he knows they’re talking about him because Baekhyun raises his head and stares right at him. His entire face lights up and he beckons with his hands so they can come closer.

Chanyeol starts to drag his feet to where they're standing. 

He doesn’t know how to react.

Taehyung is beautiful. He has dark brown hair that falls over his eyes, strong facial features, intense stare and a contagious smile. He’s leaning his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder, eyes sparkling as he looks up to grin at Chanyeol. Baekhyun’s eyes are sparkling as he looks up to grin at Chanyeol. He’s looking at the two of them side to side and his head hurts. It’s dark and he’s fucked up and this can’t be right because the two of them look exactly alike. Something starts bubbling at the bottom of Chanyeol’s stomach and he doesn't think that's a good sign.

“Yeolie, I'm so glad you're here!” Baekhyun stands up once he's close enough. He launches himself into Chanyeol’s arms, squeezing him in a very drunk hug. “I had no idea you knew Kibum!”

_ I don't _ , he thinks, but keeps it to himself. His brain is still trying to process the man sitting on the couch. Baekhyun notices it.

“Oh, right!” He claps his hands together. “Taetae, come meet my friend!”

_ Taetae _ stands up and the first thing running through Chanyeol's mind is that he's tall. Not as tall as he is, of course -- no one is ever that tall --, but enough so that he towers slightly over Baekhyun. The second is that he looks a lot more beautiful from up close.

“Hey,” the guy says with a wide grin that shows all of his perfect teeth. “I'm Taehyung.”

Chanyeol swallows down. This kid’s voice absolutely doesn’t match his cute face. “Chanyeol," he mumbles.

Taehyung is like Baekhyun in more ways than one, apparently, because he straight up ignores Chanyeol's extended hand and goes in for a hug. He smells like strawberries. Chanyeol's too drunk for this.

He smiles through some small talk Baekhyun is trying to have over the loud music whilst desperately trying to come up with a good enough excuse to get the hell out of there. Taehyung is too friendly and he seems ecstatic to make Chanyeol’s acquaintance. He can’t even count on Sehun to have his back because he disappeared with the blond girl to God knows where. 

It also doesn't help that Drunk Baekhyun is thirty-percent more clingy (as opposed to Sober Baekhyun, who is eighty-percent clingy, which leaves Chanyeol with a ninety-four-percent problem) and when he’s not attached to his side is because he's practically crawling on Taehyung’s lap. He hasn't had enough time to do the math on Taehyung’s percentage of clingy, but if the way he doesn't shy away from leaning on anyone close enough is anything to go by, Chanyeol thinks Baekhyun might just have found his match.

Long story short, he needs out. Immediately.

It’s only after Baekhyun’s hand ends up dangerously close to his ass that Chanyeol almost yelps and excuses himself to go hunt Sehun down. Something tells him it’s useless, Sehun would be either balls deep into the girl in one of the vacant rooms in here or he would be on his way to being balls deep taking a cab to her place. Honestly? He’s not too keen on finding out. The safest course of action is to just distance himself from Baekhyun and…  _ Baekhyun _ the furthest he can and accept the horrible bill in his credit card from taking an Uber across town on his own. Lesser of three evils, if you ask him.

After pretending to look for five minutes, Chanyeol decides it’s a good time as any to dip. He creeps around the room and tries to blend in with the walls the best he can. All he needs to do is get outside unnoticed. He can do this. He's close now. He’s so close.

“Yeolie, are you leaving already?”

Fucking shit, crap fuck,  _ damn it _ . “Uh, yeah,” he turns around slowly, a fake smile plastered to his face. At least Baekhyun is alone. “I’ve had way too much to drink.”

“Oh?” He giggles. “That makes two of us. I was just about to go, too.”

“Yeah?” Chanyeol perks up at this. Maybe the night isn’t ruined after all. “Let me ask a car, we can go home.”

Baekhyun smiles. “Let’s just wait for Taetae, he went to get our coats.”

_ Nevermind, then _ . 

“Sure thing.” He says, trying not to let his expression go sour. Hopefully, no one notices it.

  
  


+

  
  


They’re hanging out in the couch, laying on opposite sides of each other. It’s Tuesday afternoon. He wants the ground to open and swallow him whole. It’s been three days since the frat party and one would wonder if Park Chanyeol has gotten over his discovery about Baekhyun’s love life.

“Are we really not going to talk about Taehyung?”

“Hmm?” Baekhyun licks the Doritos powder from his fingers. It's like he's doing it on purpose. “What about him?”

To put it simply? He hasn’t.

Chanyeol takes a deep breath.

He had made the decision to hate Taehyung from the very moment he first learned the kid’s name. Realistically, he knows he’s in the wrong and it’s not like Taehyung had any idea of his plans to win over Baekhyun, but you really can’t expect a man with a broken heart to be reasonable. Chanyeol needs time to lick his wounds. Lick his wounds and learn all he can so he can adapt his plan to this minor inconvenience. This doesn’t mean anything, a setback at best. Park Chanyeol doesn’t give up easy. Baby steps.

He manages to drag his eyes away from Baekhyun’s fingers and settles on his eyes. “You’re dating your stunt double.”

_ That’s not entirely fair _ , he thinks, since at least half the illusion of the two of them looking so similar was thanks to the alcohol. After the painful split cab home between the three of them, the excruciating night of sleeping in the room right next to theirs and the deeply agonizing breakfast shared the morning after, Chanyeol (soberly) concluded that they looked more like siblings than twins. But still.

Baekhyun scowls at him but otherwise ignores the statement. He stretches and his foot digs Chanyeol’s sides, so he lets it go for the time being. There’s always going to be another chance.

Luckily for him, he's not the only person who seems to think this is the most interesting news to pass their household ever since they found out the pizza guy had a crush on Jongin and was more than willing to give him a discount. You see, unlike Sehun's traitorous ass, Chanyeol's immediate instinct upon seeing Taehyung for the first time was to text the group chat about it. Jongdae was happy to share his curiosity and even happier to annoy Baekhyun about it.

“This kid you're dating,” he comments as he and Chanyeol shamelessly stalk up and down Taehyung's Instagram page. “He's really hot.”

Baekhyun leans over the table to peek at Jongdae's phone screen. “Taetae was voted the number one ‘Most Handsome Face’ back in his school last year,” he mimics the quotation marks. “Which, you know, I take as a personal compliment.”

_ Number one, huh _ ? Chanyeol can't say he's surprised. “That’s pushing it a little, but sure.”

“I agree,” Jongdae makes an appreciative noise. “Where did the two of you meet, anyway?”

Baekhyun takes a moment to check his fingernails. “Doppelganger dating website.”

There’s a pause. Chanyeol looks at Jongdae, Jongdae looks at Chanyeol. They both look at Baekhyun. Baekhyun looks at his nails.

“Are you serious?” He asks, phone forgotten on the table from where he had dropped it.

“Of course not, you fucking twats for brains.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “He works at the bookstore near my yoga place. His friend groped my ass thinking I was him.”

That sets off yet another set of questions and even more social media stalking. Ever since Chanyeol had gotten the pleasure of meeting the new guy, Baekhyun had become much more chatty about him. Unfortunately for him, not the type of chatty he was expecting, or the kind he’s particularly comfortable with, either. 

He’s fishing for anything that will help him prove to himself that Baekhyun isn’t really happy or committed, that he wouldn’t have to feel bad for plotting their break-up, but to no avail. Baekhyun has been skipping down the damned yellow-brick-road of sunshine and guess what? Taehyung is the one leading the way.

It’s hell on Earth, thank you very much, and it makes Chanyeol think that maybe he’s in the wrong here, maybe Baekhyun’s happiness is genuine. So he promises himself he’s going to drop it.

Which he obviously doesn’t.

  
  


**sent at 5:41 pm**

_ dont u think its a lil weird _

_ u dating someone who is basically a younger version of yourself _

 

**♡ baek ♡ sent at 5:47 pm**

_ Are you calling me old _

 

**sent at 5:48 pm**

_ isn’t he like _

_ 19 _

 

**♡ baek ♡ sent at 5:49 pm**

_ Semantics _

_ What can i say _

_ I’m narcissistic _

  
  


It’s evil, selfish, pathetic  _ and _ sad, but Chanyeol has a new plan. He’s breaking them up. He just needs it to be so Baekhyun is the one doing the breaking part so it won’t end up eating away his conscience in the future.

Which is easier said than done, because Taehyung is as likable as Baekhyun, if not more. Not only is he nice, but he‘s funny and he absolutely adores animals, and those are three of Chanyeol’s weaknesses when it comes to cute boys (the fourth one is Baekhyun, and Taehyung is pretty close to being that, too). 

It's not always that the younger is around their apartment, but when he is he always makes sure to stop by Chanyeol's room to wish him good night, share his snacks and show pictures he took of every single dog he saw on his way over. Even Kyungsoo adores the guy.

There's a downside, too, and it stings like a corner-side-up lego on your unprotected foot: being in the same room with them. Baekhyun is touchy and Taehyung is touchy and it doesn't take a genius to solve this equation. Chanyeol tries to do everything in his power to avoid the couple but at the end of the day Baekhyun is still his roommate and they're bound to run into each other. It was bearable at first but after the second week, he concluded he's seeing more than he can handle.

Chaste kisses over the kitchen counter at breakfast, taking cute selfies with Instagram filters, hand-holding while the elevator doesn't come, the list is endless. The bad ones are in the living room when Chanyeol just wants to Netflix and chill with himself but Baekhyun is already on the couch with a lap full of Taehyung. He tried to escape but the boys insisted he sat down and watched Zootopia with them. The kid was making it virtually impossible for Chanyeol to hate him, big guns and everything.

Chanyeol wasn't one to say no to Disney (or Baekhyun) so he ended up giving in after resisting for one-third of a second. He spent the majority of the next hour watching the couple cuddling instead of the T.V. Baekhyun was sitting behind Taehyung, arms and legs wrapped around his middle and his chin resting on the younger’s shoulder. Chanyeol knew exactly what it felt like to have Baekhyun that close and the truth that he couldn't have it hurt like a motherfucker. It didn't help that every now and then Baekhyun would catch him staring and smile as if he  _ knew _ .

Chanyeol forces himself to glue his eyes to the screen until the very last credits roll.

  
  


+

 

It only gets worse after that.

That Thursday afternoon Jongdae walks into their apartment and declares it's ‘bring the bong’ night, pulling a brand new sparkly plastic bag of weed out of his jacket pocket. Jongin and Chanyeol both cancel their non-existent plans for the evening and text the group chat to gather everyone else. 

Sehun shows up not even five minutes later with some of his own stash and the smallest fucking joint ever. He says that Minseok will probably drop by after his shift and Kyungsoo told him not to wake him up later. There's an essay Chanyeol should probably finish, but that can wait. He closes his laptop as Jongdae sits his ass on the floor with his back to the T.V. stand and pulls their ‘grass purse’ (Baekhyun named it) from inside the cabinet. Jongin has the chicken place on speed dial, so they're good to go.

Chanyeol is already half high when the front door opens and through it enter a brunet Baekhyun and a slightly taller Baekhyun, both standing very close together. He has to blink a couple of times to notice that taller Baekhyun is, in fact, Taehyung.

After the initial shock and meticulously running through his own memories, Chanyeol is pretty sure that Baekhyun’s hair wasn't dark brown when he left the house this morning.

“Bro, what happened to your hair?” He asks, but Baekhyun is no longer by the door. He's sitting on the carpet, right next to Chanyeol.

“Oh, I dyed it, to match with Taetae!” He points towards the younger. Chanyeol follows his finger with his eyes until he sees that Taehyung is sitting on his other side. He looks from one to the other and it makes his head hurt.

“Why would you make the two of you look even more alike?” He settles on staring at Baekhyun. He hasn't had his natural color for a long time, Chanyeol almost forgot how good he looked brunet.

Baekhyun smirks. “Taehyungie has this really dumb friend, Jeon something. We told him Tae has an evil twin. It's hilarious.”

Taehyung giggles, so Chanyeol turns to look at him instead. He gets a little dumbfounded from his smile for a couple of seconds. 

“That’s a little mean," he breathes out. Taehyung scrunches his nose and Chanyeol really wants to coo because it’s the cutest shit he’s ever witnessed.  

He loses track of time. The bong passes him at least twice and even a new joint he can't recall the origin. The thing is, Chanyeol hasn't gotten high in ages, always being that person at the party who thinks they're too good to take a hit or whatever. Truthfully, he's just worried about not being sober enough to finish his assignments but the joke's on him, now he's the loser who gets way more shitfaced than everyone else. He doesn't want to worry about that now. He's in his own house, Jongdae can take care of him. He can just stare at Baekhyun and it will be okay. He doesn't mind staring at Taehyung, either.

“Why is it so fucking hot in here?” Minseok says from somewhere. He's sitting on the armchair next to the kitchen table, undoing the knot on his tie. Chanyeol hadn't even seen him walk in. “Someone open a window or something. I'm sweating balls over here.”

Jongin is the one to open the window, letting a cool breeze in. It reaches Chanyeol and makes his fringe tickle his nose. This feels nice. He's a little giddy, he'll admit, but that's not a bad thing. It's just nice.

He stays in his own space, content in just watching his friends around him. Jongdae has moved from the armchair to lie down next to Jongin, the younger running his hands through his hair. Chanyeol wonders if Jongdae's hair feels as soft as it looks, if Jongin’s fingers feel as soothing as they look. He wants to lie down, too. Maybe he should. Maybe Baekhyun can run his fingers through his hair.

“Taetae, come shotgun with me.”

It's said with a slur and the words don't quite make sense for him until he remembers who  _ Taetae _ is, and why suddenly Baekhyun is much closer than before.

From his right, Baekhyun leans over him, his hand pressed firmly against his thigh and waits for Taehyung to meet him halfway. Chanyeol holds his breath as he leans as further back as humanly possible. Neither of them is even aware that he's right there, it seems. His eyes dart back and forth between the two so fast that he can't tell if he's dizzy because of that or because he's high, horny or all three. He watches as Baekhyun flutters his eyelids and Taehyung runs his tongue over his lower lip. Chanyeol's own mouth feels dry like he's never had any water ever in his life. 

God, he shouldn't be watching this. He shouldn't. Baekhyun's hand feels like its hot enough to melt through his jeans and the press of Taehyung’s shoulder against his is sending jolts of electricity across his body and that surely can't end well.

Their mouths are millimeters apart when Baekhyun finally relaxes and lets the smoke out. He has his hand under Taehyung’s chin to hold him in place and guide him gently to where he wants him. Chanyeol gets a small glimpse of the white smoke before Baekhyun closes the gap between them.

Oh god, they're making out. They're making out right there under his nose.

He can't do this, he really can't. He's close enough to see their tongues moving and hear the low sounds Baekhyun keeps humming under his breath. Both their bodies are trapping him in place and if he raised his hand he'd be able to feel. Run his hand under Baekhyun’s shirt as Taehyung leaves tiny bites on his lower lip. He can finally find out how he tastes, how he feels and just how much of a good kisser he is, all he has to do is lean an inch closer.

Chanyeol swallows, hard.

He needs a distraction, and he needs it  _ now _ . Quick, turn off topics, go .

Rotten food. Someone else's hair on his food. Screeching goats. Screeching animals in general. Scary luminescent sea creatures. Those weird-ass fishes with human faces. Baekhyun had a fish. Baekhyun is hot. Baekhyun has his hand on Taehyung's neck now, and he's getting rougher as they get more and more breathless.

Wait, no.  _ Damn it _ . It's worthless. He's going to do something he'll deeply regret if he doesn't put an end to this immediately.

“Oh, would you look at that!” He exclaims, using his elbows to climb back up the couch and snake his way out of that death trap. “I gotta take a piss. Be right back!”

He doesn't wait for replies, he just walks away. He'll be safe in the bathroom. He locks the door behind him and counts backward from ten, sliding down the door and sitting on the cold floor. His heart is racing, his fingertips are tingling, his vision is kind of impaired and his dick feels restricted in his pants but at least he’s in one piece. Lord knows what would have been of his miserable carcass had he stayed behind.

It’s confusing, to say the least, but Chanyeol is far from sober and he has long ago come to terms that his head works in strange ways when he’s wasted. Both his heads, apparently, because these feelings sure as hell weren’t coming from his heart. He knows he’s attracted to Baekhyun, that’s last Thursday news, but even if he hadn’t gotten the chance, he’s sure he wouldn’t have minded making out with Taehyung, too. He files that under ‘Things He Should Definitely Look Into Later’ and sends out a prayer to help him remember.

The concept of time is as secure in his mind as ice-cream melting through the cone on a sunny day, so Chanyeol guesses he’s been hiding in the bathroom for somewhat between three and fifty-six minutes. Given his history, it’s likely been too long for it to be a regular pee break. He wonders if his friends have noticed just how much time has passed, if they’re too high to care. They probably think he's here jerking off.

_ He’s not _ , he reminds himself, even if he has more than enough incentive to.

Chanyeol's hand absentmindedly ends up pulling at the end of his shirt, rubbing gently against the fabric of his jeans and dangerously close to his crotch. For about a millisecond he tries to argue with himself that he shouldn't do this, that it's pathetic and gross, but a simple cupping of his dick is all it takes to get that shame and flush it down the toilet. You can't compete with a guy's high orgasms.

  
  


+

  
  


As the weeks go by, he experiences a total of three emotions circling around his sanity like little horses on a carousel, one after the other. He’s been sad, he’s been horny and he’s been desperate. Right now, he’s experiencing all three. The carousel has come to a sudden halt and all horses are pointed towards the middle.

If you thought that Park Chanyeol had reached rock bottom before, think again.

This time, he's not only jerking off to the memory of his best friend making out with his boyfriend, oh no. He's jerking off to the sound of them doing it on the room next to his.

He tried to take the higher road, believe him, but he's only a man and men are weak. He feels himself frown as he snaps his eyes shut with much more force than necessary, hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. The bits of his mind that aren’t white mush or too busy freaking out over the situation is focused on keeping as quiet as he can and that includes biting his lower lip until he can taste the iron. It’s not like he wanted this, he had no choice.

No, no. Hear him out.

To start off, this week had been hell. Not that the previous ones had been any better, but the past seven days were particularly impossible. He had been fired from his part-time job at the convenience store, slept through his alarm on the one day his professor decided to throw a surprise pop quiz, dropped his phone and smashed the entire screen and to top it all had to endure a two-hour long phone call with his mother inquiring just why he still didn’t have a girlfriend. All he wanted that Friday was to climb under his covers and cry himself to sleep through the next five years.

But of course, just before he could let himself finally drift off, the noises started. Whatever sleep that had in his system evaporated instantly as he began to understand just what he was hearing. Did he mention he had also lost his expensive headphones?

It was nearing 1 a.m. when Chanyeol finally gave up pretending to ignore it, head buried underneath his pillows in hopes of muffling the sound from next door. He couldn’t leave, he had been pretending not to be home for long enough for it to be incredibly awkward if he tried now. Not to mention he hadn’t had sex in almost two months. Point in case, he’s a man and men are weak. Chanyeol could only hope God wasn’t watching him now.

“You really are pathetic, my friend,” Jongdae says, two days later after Chanyeol finishes his agonizing tale. He might have left out the jerking off part, but you can’t blame him.

“Is that all you have to say?” Chanyeol scoffs. ‘I came here looking for a little more sympathy.”

Jongdae looks to his left where Sehun is yet to give any indication that he’s listening at all. “I think you came to the wrong place, man.”

It’s true that he wanted sympathy, but he would settle for an audience for his complaining. Jongdae does a good enough job nodding at the right parts so it’s somewhat helpful. Out of their group, Jongdae is the one who spent the least amount of time with Taehyung so there are a few more days before Chanyeol can fully exhaust him of his patience. Apparently not Sehun.

“Dude, shut the fuck up.”

Jongdae rolls his eyes. “I’ve been trying to get him to do that for the past year.”

“No, that’s not what I mean.” He speaks up before Chanyeol can. “I mean you should quit being so salty and start being fucking grateful, instead.”

Chanyeol frowns. “What are you talking about?”

“This is like. The dream fantasy.” He sits up on the couch, using his phone to gesticulate around. Jongdae looks just as lost as he does. Sehun huffs as if this is obvious and he shouldn’t have to elaborate. “It’s like having a threesome with twins, except you don’t have to worry about the incest part. It’s perfect."

A full minute goes by before any of them talk again. They wait for Sehun to say  _ sike _ and start laughing, but he remains perfectly serious.

Jongdae looks absolutely dumbfounded. “Why are we friends with you?”

“No, no,” Chanyeol says, eyes never leaving Sehun’s. “He has a point.”

Jongdae turns to him with a stare even more affronted than the one he was giving the redhead a second ago. He says Chanyeol can’t be serious, but he might. His old plan wasn’t working, but this one might.

Sehun  _ does _ have a point.

Chanyeol has a New Plan.

  
  


+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps. you can totally follow me on [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/ohimemomo) and we can be friends ♡


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